Not ever silent

Wearable handkerchief

“Hey, so thanks for rubbing your snot all over my shirt.”

I didn’t have any snot!

“So what are you doing then?”

I needed to use you for an itch-napkin. 

Biomorphic

Mama, something spilled in the tushie crack of the couch.

Back seat question

Can everybody stop poking me in the nipples?

Civil rights

“Honey, she asked you not to look. Please give her the same privacy you would want.”

What do you want me to do? I can’t put my eyes in prison!

Prepositions and dispositions

E: Why is it called ‘drop off?’ I mean, you don’t drop your kid off the car…you take them inside! You don’t drop them OFF!

L: Yeah! But if it *is* ‘drop off’, why is it ‘pick up?’ Shouldn’t it be ‘pick on?’

E: It can’t be ‘pick on’ because that means teasing. So maybe it shouldn’t be ‘drop off.’

L: So if it’s ‘pick up’ then maybe it’s ‘drop down!’

E: No, that’s a menu on a computer.

L: You can get noodles on the computer?

A precocious existential crisis

Sometimes I worry that we’re not real, and we’re all just characters in someone else’s dream.

Sour

I just can’t eat them. They go down my spine too much.

Anticipation

I cannot WAIT to get my face on that ice cream!